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“It’s Never Too Late”

  Many times, I’ve had grieving people tell me how much they regret not saying something to a person who had died, and then they add, "and now it’s too late.”  Death sometimes comes with unfinished business.

  In Christian tradition, November is the month when we remember in a special way those who have died. The month begins with the feasts of All Saints and All Souls, and daylight grows shorter and shorter.  Whenever someone has said to me, "and now it’s too late,” my heart went out to them. Their grief was real and so was their sense of loss.  And who among us has never had unfinished business with someone upon their death?  It’s usually something that we wanted to tell them, like how much we love them, or how much they meant to us. But those words ��nd now it’s too late” deserve some commentary.

  The truth is, it’s not too late. It’s never too late, if we take seriously the Christian doctrine of the communion of saints. This doctrine, so important that it’s enshrined in our creed, calls us to believe that those who have died are still alive, and they’re linked to us in such a way that we can continue to talk with them, and that our relationship with them can therefore continue to grow. Whether it’s words of love, forgiveness, respect, or grief, our belief in the communion of saints teaches us that death cannot shut off our ability to communicate with our deceased loved ones. Deep down, we know this to be true. So many of us have stood at the headstone of a grave, wiped away a tear, and said, “I miss you.”  We didn’t speak those words to empty air.  Those words were heard.

  And something else. Death washes things clean. How often in a family, a friendship, a community, or in any human network, do we experience tension or frustration, and then everything changes because someone dies?  Death washes away things like hurt and pettiness. 

  In Luke’s gospel, Jesus is quoted as saying, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Those words, spoken to the good thief, are spoken to everyone who dies without having had the opportunity to make all the amends and say all the loving things that they felt they owed to others. But there is always time, even after death, for love or sorrow to be expressed and heard. Inside the communion of saints, we have privileged access to those we love, and there we can finally speak all of those words that, for whatever reason, we didn’t speak before.