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Buy More Socks

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." — Genesis 2:18

  The Hebrew word translated as "helper" in Genesis 2 is ezer. It refers to a strong partner who comes alongside another person to accomplish what neither could do alone.

  This week, my wife Beth and I celebrate 22 years of marriage. I am grateful that God blessed me with such a wonderful partner for all those years. If you know me well, you may agree that her sticking around for 22 years is evidence of miracles.

  Like most young couples, we spent the early years of marriage figuring out who would do what around the house. At the time, I usually got home from work before Beth did, so I took responsibility for making supper most evenings. Beth naturally gravitated toward doing the laundry. It wasn't a formal agreement, but it worked well enough until the socks.

  I wore black dress socks to work nearly every day, and it seemed that I was constantly running out. Beth had her own schedule for when laundry needed to be done. What followed were months of minor disagreements, unmet expectations, and all the other little tensions that come from two people learning how to share life together. Neither of us thought the issue was really about socks, but somehow the socks kept showing up in the conversation.

  Then one day I had a brilliant idea. I bought more socks. Suddenly the crisis disappeared. I no longer ran out before laundry day arrived. In fact, Beth's supply of socks ran out before mine did. Out of necessity, the laundry eventually got done, and I always had a clean pair available when I needed them.

  It sounds silly, but over the years I've realized there was a valuable lesson hidden in that drawer full of socks. Many conflicts in relationships are not really about the issue we are arguing over. Sometimes we spend our energy trying to change the other person when it would be easier𠅊nd healthier—to adjust our own expectations. Sometimes the solution is not winning the argument but finding a creative way around it.

  Marriage is not about keeping score. It is not about making sure every task is divided perfectly. It is about two imperfect people learning to serve one another, extend grace, and solve problems together. After 22 years, I can tell you that love often looks less like grand romantic gestures and more like patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and occasionally buying more socks.

  And if you're married, trust me on this one: sometimes the best way to improve your relationship is not to win the fight. Sometimes it's simply to buy more socks.

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